The Internet Is Killing Me Inside

It’s been eight days since I’ve had a face to face conversation with someone other than my wife and kids. My job is in a planning stage so everything is being done over computers, email, and telephone. The people I have things in common with exist over the the screen. I’ve drawn the conclusion that being so connected to technology is killing me inside.

My introduction to the worldwide web didn’t happen until 2003. I’m a late bloomer. I didn;t even send an email until 2004. In my 8 years of observing and using the computer, I’ve noticed that my writing has gotten better, while my interpersonal skills, once brilliant, have faded into a weird oblivion.

I love blogging. Putting my thoughts, characters, settings, and humor into posts has made me feel vibrant as a writer. It has put me in touch with some of the most talented people I’ve ever “known”. Struggling with a social anxiety disorder for 25 years and often feeling alone in my thoughts made me cynical that I would ever get an intellectual connection with anything or anyone. My wife is my best friend. She’s an amazing woman of talent, humor, gorgeousness, and laughter. Yet we have different tastes in music, writing, books, movies, and style. She’s New Kids On The Block and country music. I’m The Clash and soulful singer-songwriter crap. The outlet of sameness of ideas that blogging and internet has provided seemed like a great idea at first. Now, I’m thinking, since I can’t see these people face to face, it may be for nothing.

I have an unhealthy obession with writers from the 1920s. F. Scott Fitgerald, his crazy wife Zelda, Ernest Hemingway, Gertrude Stein, Henry Miller, Dorothy Parker, and the many others that shaped the Lost Generation made me wonder what it would be like to sit around my own Algonquin Roundtable of the people I interact with over the computer and talk writing. The problem? I only know them through cyberspace.

This reads like a whine that in desperate need of cheese. Really, and I’m being brutally honest, I just want to eat a lunch with someone and talk about the new Noel Gallagher CD and the two books I’m writing. Time to hit twitter and check my blog. The computer screen is shaped like a table. I call it the Hewlett Packard Rectangle.